Best Wishes to Andrea and Joe!

In August, my sister Andrea remarried after several years. She married Joe.  The reason I’m including this in the blog postings is because my blog is about starting over and succeeding to build a happy life, no matter what age you are.  And this is definitely a happy ending story.

My sister used online dating services and met a lot of guys, all ages, some good, some not so good, had some good relationships, some really fun dates, but never met her perfect match.  Fast forward about 7 years and here is her story.  She met Joe because of a cookie monster picture.  He and Cookie were together and it made her laugh.  So she wrote to him, he wrote back, and they decided to meet.  Cue cupid and they were bit by the bug and started dating.  I don’t know all the details; she lives 2 hours away and we don’t see each other a lot, but they were happy dating and next thing you know, they were becoming serious.  Fast forward again, and this past August, they married.  And I was the wedding officiant who married them!  We had a great time at their wedding.  It was small, in a hall in Berkeley Heights, good food, great live music (my sister is friends with a band, Shore Soundz Band), a fun photographer (Allan Reider Studio), lots to drink, and moi, crying as I officiated and pronounced them husband and wife (wife and husband?). All of our family except for one missing niece Allie, was there and we had a blast.  (She is in Seattle in her new architect position-we missed her!) My sister’s son and daughter, Jen and her date Joe and Billy, and Billy’s new fiancée Marissa, my brother Joe and sister-in law Deb and their other daughter Katelyn and her date Justin, and my son Will, plied us all with enough drinks that we got up and danced, even me with my cane!  The dancing went on for hours and no one wanted to leave, a sign of a fun wedding. We met Joe’s family (Are you seeing a lot of Joe’s in this story?),  saw old friends and met new ones, ate and drank, and then left the newlyweds and made our long way home.

So congratulations Andrea and Joe.  Live a long, happy life.  You were blessed to find each other.

My other purpose in writing about this is to tell you that anyone, any age, can find happiness.  It may not be marriage that you seek, but whatever it is, go after it, don’t think you’re too old, and make your life what you want it to be.  If you want to go back to school, do it.  If you want to change jobs, or quit a job if you are able, do it.  If you want to date, go online and try it. Just be careful. Get a pet, join a club.  No clubs?  Go to http://www.meetup.com and find clubs in your area.  Try a hobby like one of those painting groups that seem to be everywhere.  They walk you through painting a picture and you may have talent! Get out of the house and enjoy your life.  Do stupid stuff with a best friend; eat some junk once in a while. Think positive thoughts, think healthy thoughts, don’t just sit and do nothing.  Our time is so fleeting.  Don’t waste it.

Catching you Up!

A lot has gone on since my last posting so I’m going to make some tea and then briefly tell you about it.

Ready?…….OK.

First would be work.  I have three jobs necessitated by the full time one paying so little.  The good news, I guess, is that I work four 10-hour days, leaving me time to work somewhere else in the off time.  I have four more years before I can collect my maximum Social Security so I’m using the time to get out of debt, put money aside, and mostly keep up with my living expenses.  Thus, one full time and two part time jobs.  It tends to suck the life out of me, working like this, and I have to add two hours of travel daily to those 10 hours.  I get home by 9:00 PM and want to do nothing. Just veg.

Summer 2015…Life is Good!

My retirement plan definitely did not include divorce but I’ve managed to stay financially afloat, with the help of my son.  We’re getting ready to have a huge yard sale so I can finally get rid of a lot of crap that has been hanging around for many years.  When I’m done, I hope to see only necessities, which will of course include books, craft supplies, and more books!

Next, my husband filed for divorce and I just opened the notice today.  I’ve been carrying it around unopened for about a month; couldn’t open it.  Sad, scared, angry….you name it, I feel it, or felt it.  It came about a month before our 35^th anniversary, which just passed. But the good news is that I’m OK, pretty much.  I’ll be honest and tell you that there was a brief pain in my heart.  After all, I’ve known the man since I was 21.  But, time has dulled the ache, the tears are mostly over, and I’m fine without him.  Cheers for me!!  Let the “other woman” deal with his habits now, cause he hasn’t changed and is doing his usual, out running around all the time.  So, I’m free and happy to be!

I’ve also been exploring online dating, not my favorite thing, but when all I do is work, how else would I meet someone?  I’m not quite sure what I’m looking for, meaning do I ever want to marry again?  I guess I’ll see how it goes and who does the asking.  The funny thing is that the guys look so old to me, but who am I kidding?  I’m the same age!!  I’ve met some nice but dull guys, written to a bunch, had a lot of phishing since my age group is targeted as old, desperate, and stupid, (do I want to send them money for whatever scheme they have in mind? HA!) and surprisingly have had a lot of really young guys wanting me to fulfill their sexual fantasies of young guy-older woman.  Dare I say Mrs. Robinson?  But I look at my 65 year old self and say NAH to that.  Really not interested.  I recently had a guy start writing to me and after several weeks of messages that sounded really promising, he decided that I live too far and called it off before we met in person.  This was the first time I saw any possibilities but in typical guy fashion, he would have just disappeared with no notice but I called him on it and at least got a message saying “not going to work”.  But, did I tell you that my sister met a great guy online, after several years of looking, and just set the wedding date!  Happy for her.

The next step will be changing jobs to one that pays better so I can work less, join the local Y and begin working out and swimming, save for a cruise to Italy (God knows when I’ll have saved enough for that!) and move onward and upward.  Since I have to work four more years until I’m 70, I want to get the most out of it.  Starting over has been hard, but not impossible, and I’m proud of myself for staying the course.  I’ve gone through a lot since 2008 and will surely go through more, but I’m up for the challenge.

Until next time!

Shelley