It’s been a while since I’ve written anything so I thought I would post an update so you can see how things have been going for me. Pour your tea and get comfortable cause I think this may be a long one!
First, I’ve left my 12 hour work days behind. In October, I made a job change that had been in the works for a while and though I still have a somewhat long commute, I’m home by 6:30 and have time to actually do something besides work. The surprising thing about the change was how sad I was to leave the other job and the friends I had made there. My co-workers, Lynn, Victor, Brandy, Jamie, Denieka, and my replacement Barbara are what made the long days and commute bearable. And what I realized is that they were really going to miss me too, the “me” I became after the divorce. I never knew how much I had changed during the marriage, and how consumed I was trying to do everything right, for the wrong man-it changed me a lot. So I became my true self again and people like that person better! Very eye opening. So it was with tears and sadness that I left but I’ll be seeing them all again on December 12th and am totally looking forward to it. I still miss them. (Update: We got together and had a great time. It was wonderful to see everyone.)
About two months ago, my dear friend Victor brought me a wonderful gift-from Peru, his family home. He had sent money to his mother, a jewelry maker also, and asked her to pick out some beads for me at the market and a few weeks ago, the beads arrived via a family member who traveled to the United States, and Victor presented them to me. So he has revived my interest in making jewelry only this time I will be making prayer beads and Yoga beads, starting over with a new business name. Of course, I’ll post news about it when it’s ready! I’m doing research because every religion has different representations and I want to be sure to incorporate these into the beads.
I received some good news! My one year follow up to the biopsy was negative! I’m so grateful. It was a terrible scare last year and so many women go through it, and men, and I’m just so glad that it all was clear. So please ladies, get those mammograms done regularly. And men should be checked also. You may not know that men can get breast cancer but they can.
I’ve joined the local gym recently and will be using the pool and work-out room as often as I can get my lazy self over there. I plan on lifting weights, swimming, walking on the treadmill, and cycling. I recently created a pin on Pinterest called Beautiful Aging and it’s amazing to see how many women age 60 and above look fantastic and healthy. I’ve been eating very low carb for a while and have lost about 25 pounds, from a tight size 18 to borderline 14, which is a good size for me, not thin but not fat. That way I can eat pizza or a cheesesteak once in a while! Anyway, can you say STRONG, HEALTHY WOMAN?!
Another project I’m involved in is going to be called “Shelley’s Closet”, a Facebook store that will feature new and used clothing for women and men, kid stuff, books, and household items. It will mostly be local pickup and delivery (of course at a safe location) with maybe some shipping. We’ll see. Anyway, my girlfriend Kathy and I love to go to yard sales and thrift shops, hunting for those hidden treasures, and it’s amazing what people donate and sell. There are tons of FB groups for selling items so I’m taking my chance at doing this too. My ultimate goal of course is to create several sources of income, doing things that I like, and ease into working part time, and then retirement. Well, maybe retirement. I really can’t see not having a job or something to do every day and I like to be busy, plus having the interaction with different people is a plus, but I think I would just like it to be a bit more casual than now.
Before I go I have to tell you about online dating. I actually dislike it but where I live, there isn’t any place to go to meet anyone, really, and I decided to give it a try. I’m on two sites and had to create a profile and then post pictures, and then get up the nerve to actually write to someone. After being married for 30+ years, it was very hard for me to make the transition to seeing myself as single. I felt like I was “cheating” for the longest time and had trouble even talking to anyone. Very shy. Horrors! It was like being a teenager again! But I stuck with it and have been dating a bit. In fact, I met a guy right away, first day online, and we went out several times and had a good time but didn’t “click” so eventually just sort of drifted into neverland. There are a lot of fake profiles on the sites and if you’re paying attention, you can recognize them because they all sort of are the same, so I never give out my phone number or email until I’m sure I’m talking to a real person. And even then, I’m kind of slow to give it out. I have met some nice men but part of me wonders if I’ll ever meet someone special because none of them were “the one”! I did meet two guys who had good possibilities but one bailed when he really understood about the cane and my physical limitations and the other lived pretty far and decided to look for someone closer. It’s funny too that the best looking guys, and the most interesting profiles, are too far away to be practical to meet. Figures. And a lot of guys in their 60’s are looking for younger women and 66 is way too old for them. I think they don’t know what they’re missing but it’s their loss. I’m happy being single and not sure it will be something I need to change. We’ll see.
Before I close, I would like to say that starting over late in life isn’t easy. If any of you are faced with this, you’ll get through it as I did, and still am. I started the blog, in part, to share what I’ve learned about this process and if my experiences have helped anyone at all, I’m happy. I thought I would never get over my husband choosing to leave, but I did. I see him occasionally and I always make sure I strut my stuff when he’s around so he can see what he’s missing but seriously, I have come a very long way and have survived. You will too. The important thing to remember is to love yourself, do what makes you feel good, and take care of yourself. Surround yourself with support people, and again I have to thank my son for being there for me, laugh with your grandchildren, stay busy, make changes when you’re ready, and stay positive.
So friends, it was good to talk to you again. I’m filled with gratitude that you’re in my life. The teapot is empty now so until next time, have a wonderful, family-and-friend-filled Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas, yes I said it!, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year. It’s going to be a great year, 2016!!
Love, Shelley
A Cup of Tea...and a Book 